Parker Luck
by FrostedFangirl
Summary: "Parker luck... basically, if it can go wrong, it will go wrong... but everything turns out okay in the end." In which Peter has a really crappy week involving video games, kidnapping, and mutants. [AU, set between S2E16 and S2E23]


**This is an idea that I've had for a while and started writing a few months ago. Then I hit the horrible speed bump of school and lack of inspiration and this got shelved, along with THS. (To any THS followers reading this, I'm very sorry for making you all wait so long. I'm gonna try and get back on top of that.)**

 **So my sister, Marvelite5Ever (formerly I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain), asked me to finish this as part of her birthday present. That deadline, along with summer freedom and sudden inspiration, got me to finish this... only to find that it wasn't done! So now it isn't the one-shot I'd planned it to be, but a two-shot or chapter fic.**

 ** _VERY IMPORTANT STORY SETTING:_ This story takes place after season 2 episode 16: "Venom Bomb," at the end of which Doctor Octopus left the Tricarrier in an escape pod, and affects events in season 2 episode 23: "Second Chance Hero."**

* * *

It was destined to be a bad day from the moment Peter got the call.

" _Spider-Man!"_ Fury yelled through Peter's wrist communicator. _"Report to the Tricarrier for training, now!"_

"Aw, c'mon, Nick!" Peter groaned as he poked his cooking scrambled eggs in their pan with a fork. "It's Saturday! Isn't it illegal to make kids work on Saturdays?"

Fury, predictably, ignored him. _"Get up here!"_

"Can't I at least eat breakfast first?"

 _"...Fine. Hurry up!"_ And with that, Fury signed off.

"Yes!" Peter cheered. "Oh, lovely breakfast, how I adore thee... huh?"

The window above the stove was open and a gust of wind had deposited several leaves in Peter's scrambled eggs. He reached forward to pull the leaves out and brushed against the hot pan, burning his fingers.

"Ouch!" he yelped and stuffed his fingers in his mouth. Then he sighed. "I think the world hates me.

* * *

Spider-Man strode onto the observation deck of the Tricarrier and crowed, "Fury, my man, what can I do for you, old buddy?"

Fury regarded him unamusedly with his single, stern eye. "You can get your butt down to the Court for solo training is what you can do," the director said.

Spider-Man sagged. "Aw, man..."

TIME FREEZE

" _It's not that I don't like solo training," Spider-Man says as he looks at you, shrugging his shoulders. "Sometimes, it's nice to go solo again." Here, his expression turns deadpan. "But at least when it's team training, I'm not the only one suffering."_

TIME UNFREEZE

"After training," Fury continued, bringing Peter out of his thoughts, "you'll meet our new head of the science department. Until we can get Dr. Conners back, that is. Agent McGregory is a smart man, but he's relatively new to S.H.I.E.L.D.—We recruited him four months ago and he only joined us once we paid off his gambling debts. I'm not sure if we can trust him. I want your evaluation of him, Spider-Man."

"...Oh. Huh..." Spider-Man mumbles.

TIME FREEZE

" _I've got a bad feeling about this," Spider-Man admits to you. "What if we get Conners back and he feels like he's been replaced? I don't want to do that to him. And this 'Agent McGregory'... Call me paranoid, but that sounds a lot like 'Agent McGuffin,' who never really existed. Any name that starts with 'Mc' gives me the creeps now. Goodbye, McDonald's..."_

TIME UNFREEZE

"Wait a sec..." Spider-Man said suddenly. "You only called me up here for solo training because you wanted me to take a look at this guy!" Scratching the back of his head and squinting his eyes in a bashful way, he continued, "Aw, Nicky, I'm touched that you appreciate my opinion so much! How 'bout we skip the training session and get right to—"

Fury's eye twitched. It was halfway to an eye-roll. Spider-Man congratulated himself heartily for eliciting a response of annoyance from the stony director. Then Fury commanded, "You. Court. Now."

Always one for pushing his luck, Spider-Man gave a close-eyed smile and asked, "You'll go easy on me?"

* * *

Fury had not gone easy on him.

When Spider-Man emerged from the Court nursing several small burns and lacerations, he found a broad-shouldered man waiting for him.

"I'm guessing you're Agent McGregory?" Spider-Man ventured hesitantly.

"Uh-huh," the man grunted. He had a neatly trimmed mustache on his upper lip and dirty-blond hair that was slicked back with excessive amounts of hair gel. His eyes were steel gray and extremely calculating, like he was trying to unlock all Spidey's secrets just by looking at him. Actually, that's probably what he was was trying to do.

"Um... great!" Spider-Man fumbled. "Nice to have another science nerd on board! Sometimes I feel so alone in the world! Ever since..." he trailed off into silence, the eyes of his mask turning down in sadness.

An interested gleam crept into Agent McGregory's eyes. "Ever since Dr. Conners turned into the Lizard," he finished. "You were with him when that happened, weren't you?"

"Yeah," said Spider-Man flatly. He hurriedly changed the subject. "So, you get settled in the science department, yet? Invent any cool new toys?"

"Hm. Well, I do have something I'm working on... but I need a test subject to get the data I need."

TIME FREEZE

" _I dunno about you, but I heard some pretty heavy baiting in that sentence," Spider-Man notes._

 _~Start Spidey Imagination Sequence~_

 _Agent McGregory, wearing a fisherman's vest, casts a line into the lake. A few seconds later, he pulls it out with Spider-Chibi hanging on to the hook. "Looks like I caught myself a test subject! But this one's a tad small. I'd better throw it back."_

" _Eeep!" Spider-Chibi yelps._

 _~Stop Spidey Imagination Sequence~_

" _Yeah... I see what he's doing. But hey, whatever he's got can't be that bad, so why not?"_

TIME UNFREEZE

"Oh, fun! Want me to do it?" asked Spider-Man.

Agent McGregory gave him a look. "Sure," he said, sounding weirded out by Spidey's enthusiasm.

Spider-Man fist-pumped the air. "Awesome! I love new toys!"

TIME FREEZE

 _~Start Spidey Imagination Sequence~_

 _Batroc the Leaper and Spider-Chibi are having a jump-rope contest. "Sacrebleu!" Batroc the Leaper exclaims as he trips and faceplants. Spider-Chibi smiles his close-eyed smile and jump-ropes off screen with his S.H.I.E.L.D. issue jump-rope._

 _~Play Next Sequence~_

 _Spider-Chibi is playing with his new S.H.I.E.L.D. issue marbles. Suddenly, the Rhino charges out of nowhere and slips on the marbles. Spider-Chibi webs him up and gives the audience a thumbs up._

 _~Play Next Sequence~_

 _Dr. Octopus and Spider-Chibi are playing a new S.H.I.E.L.D. video game. Doc Oc's metal arms fumble with his controller for a while, then he throws it down and crosses his real arms. Spider-Chibi looks at him, looks at the game, and raises his arms in victory._

 _~Stop Spidey Imagination Sequence~_

TIME UNFREEZE

"It's not a new web-shooter or anything," Agent McGregory admitted gruffly. "I'm mainly a psychologist. I want to see how different people react to certain virtual situations."

"...Okay," said Spider-Man, blinking. "Eh, I don't have anything I need to do. It's Saturday! I'll do your little experiment thingy!"

Agent McGregory smiled, and for once it looked sincere. "Then let's go to my new lab," he said. "While we're walking, I'll explain how my experiment works. It's... well, it's basically a video game that you'll play. There is a random objective you need to fulfill in a virtual world where anything can happen."

Spider-Man nodded, not wanting to interrupt. When Agent McGregory didn't say anything, he wondered if the man was waiting for a comment. "Err, is that it?" he asked.

"Pretty much," Agent McGregory said. "Well, I'm going to be watching you while you play the game, as I'm looking for certain patterns in behavior, but obviously I can't tell you what it is I'm looking for."

"So I just have to play a video game? That's it?" Spider-Man summed up.

"Yup."

TIME FREEZE

" _Now this is my kind of science!" Spider-Man cheers._

 _~Start Spidey Imagination Sequence~_

 _Peter is in front of the TV mashing the buttons on a video game controller._

" _Peter," Aunt May's voice calls, "come wash the dishes!"_

" _Not now, Aunt May, I'm doing science!"_

 _~Stop Spidey Imagination Sequence~_

TIME UNFREEZE

"Awesome," Spider-Man said.

* * *

 _ **Later...**_

Spider-Man stared in shock at the screen, the controller clutched loosely in his fingers. "How..."

"Incredible," Agen McGregory murmured, furiously scribbling notes down.

"How did that happen?" Spider-Man asked. "I went over a waterfall, ran into a pack of wolves, angered a tribe of Native Americans, got caught in a firefight between the Indians and the British, found a buried treasure chest that was empty, almost drowned in the lake, walked through the middle of nowhere forever, and died because I had barely any health left and I touched a cactus! MY OBJECTIVE WAS TO IDENTIFY AND PICK A FLOWER WHOSE NAME WAS REALLY LONG AND I DON'T REMEMBER IT! HOW DID I FAIL THAT?!"

"I've never seen anything like it," the man next to him said, his pencil finally coming to a stop.

Spider-Man tossed the controller away and flipped off the couch. "What were you looking for, again?" he asked, landing in a perfect crouch in front of the scientist.

Agent McGregory looked at him with an intense gaze. "Actually," he said slowly, "I think I'd like to run this test a few more times. Up for another round?"

"Yeah, sure!" agreed Spider-Man. "Anything to help a buddy of science out!"

Then his wrist communicator rang. Spider-Man quickly glanced at the caller and answered it. "Yeah, White Tiger? Something up?"

" _Yes,"_ Ava growled, out of her costume and looking annoyed. _"Aunt May just called me because she can't get in touch with you. Her karate class in the city ended early and apparently you both ran out of food, so she's shopping in the store down the street from the dojo. She wants you to help her carry the groceries home. I told her that you're at the library. Get over there ASAP!"_

"Ah!" Spider-Man exclaimed. "Fish sticks! Okay, I'm on my way right now! Bye Mister McGregory, I'll see you tomorrow!" He was out the door in a flash.

"Hm," Agent McGregory hummed thoughtfully to himself, picking up his pen and adding something to his notes.

* * *

 _ **The next day...**_

"Hm... left or right?" Spider-Man wondered. On the large flatscreen TV, his nondescript avatar in Agent McGregory's game stood at a T intersection in a creepy, dark business complex filled with masked goons. "Left, right, left, right..."

Next to him, Agent McGregory groaned and rubbed at his eyes. "Will you make up your mind already? You've been thinking about this for five minutes!"

Spider-Man huffed, "Well, ex- _cuse_ me for being cautious." But nevertheless, he made up his mind and took the left hallway. "I haven't run into any bad guys in a while. Maybe I killed them all."

Just as he finished saying that thought aloud, a virtual villain turned the corner up ahead and shot Spider-Man's avatar. The screen turned black and flashed _"Game Over"_ in large block letters.

"W-What?!" Spider-Man sputtered, dropping the controller. He jumped to his feet and pointed an accusatory finger at the screen, saying, "Oh, that was _so_ unfair!"

"Unfair," Agent McGregory repeated softly, scribbling on his notepad. "Or just bad luck."

* * *

 _ **About five days later...**_

"I think your game is biased," Spider-Man declared on Friday, glaring narrow-eyed at the screen as the words _"Game Over"_ appeared yet again. "Are you _sure_ this thing is randomized?"

"Of course," Agent McGregory replied gruffly, sounding slightly offended. "If I or some other intelligence controlled the virtual situations, it would defeat the purpose of the experiment."

"And you _still_ haven't told me what you're looking for," commented Spider-Man with a hint of a whine in his voice. "C'mon, I wanna know!"

Agent McGregory looked thoughtful and switched between staring into space, looking at his notes, and squinting at Spider-Man.

TIME FREEZE

" _You see that look?" Spider-Man asks you rhetorically, jerking a thumb at Agent McGregory. "He's totally gonna cave."_

TIME UNFREEZE

The older man seemed to come to a decision, because he nodded slightly to himself and opened his mouth to explain his experiment—

—and was cut off by Spider-Man's wrist communicator going off. With a sigh, Spider-Man answered it. _"Spidey, we've got a situation here downtown!"_ Nova informed him. _"Care to grace us with your presence, oh fearless team leader?"_

"I'll be there in three minutes," Spider-Man promised, "if you can last that long without me."

" _Just get over here, Web-Head!"_ Nova told him.

"Sorry, duty calls," said Spider-Man, waving to Agent McGregory as he ran out. "Maybe you can tell me another time?"

Agent McGregory looked back to the couch and saw Spider-Man's backpack sitting there innocently. Spidey had taken it with him when he came to the Tricarrier, but he'd forgotten it in the face of a team threat.

The spider would be back for it, Agent McGregory thought, and he grinned.

* * *

"Man, what is up with villains this week?" Spider-Man exclaimed as they stood together on a rooftop. SHIELD was being courteous enough to clean up the remains of the several dozen miniature cockroach robots that the team had just defeated. "It seems like they're all crawling out of the woodworks! Heh, get it? 'Crawling out of the woodworks'? 'Cause we just fought a bunch of cockroaches?"

"Yes, we get it," White Tiger groaned in exasperation.

Ignoring her obvious irritation, Spider-Man continued to himself, "I wonder if they're purposefully trying to interrupt me all the time?"

Nova snorted. "What, were you doing something more important?"

Spider-Man considered it and admitted, "Actually, I was only getting my ass kicked by a video game in the name of science. Man, my Parker Luck's been acting up all day. Actually, make that all week..."

"'Parker Luck'?" White Tiger asked, partly out of curiosity, partly out of incredulity.

"I believe I have heard Spider-Man reference this 'Parker Luck' before," Iron First said. "What is it?"

"Well, it's like... er..." Spider-Man started.

TIME FREEZE

" _How do I explain Parker luck? I've never really put it into words before," Spider-Man muses. "It's always been one of those permanent factors in life. Like gravity and J. Jonah Jameson talking trash about Spider-Man."_

TIME UNFREEZE

"I guess you could say it's a genetic trait or something,'cause Uncle Ben used to tell me and Aunt May about all the bad luck he had at work," Spider-Man said, basking in memories. "All these things would go wrong—he'd lose a pen, someone would misplace an important check, or the boss would do a surprise inspection. Uncle Ben was the one who coined the name. Parker luck... basically, if it _can_ go wrong, it _will_ go wrong... but everything turns out okay in the end."

There was silence for a moment while the rest of the team thought that tidbit over with varying levels of disbelief. Finally, Power Man said, "Hey, Spidey, we were gonna go grab a bite to eat. You wanna join us?"

"Sure!" Spider-Man agreed happily, reaching for his backpack which held his civilian clothes. His eyes went wide when he realized it wasn't there. "Oh, fish sticks... I left my backpack on the Tricarrier! I'll meet you guys back here in ten," he said and quickly swung off.

* * *

Agent McGregory looked up and smirked as Spider-Man walked in. "I figured you'd be back for that," he said nonchalantly, nodding his head at the backpack on the couch.

"Eh heh heh, yeah," Spider-Man laughed sheepishly. "I can't believe I forgot it. I kinda need it for super important teenage socializing which I absolutely cannot miss and—"

Very suddenly, the lights turned red and monotone beeps sounded in alarm.

" _Attention, all agents!"_ Fury's voice barked over the speaker system. _"The Astrocarrier has been compromised! All agents on high alert!"_

"The Astrocarrier?" Spider-Man repeated. "But that's the one we're on right now! And what does Fury mean by 'compromised'?"

The lab door was abruptly blown apart. Agent McGregory and Spider-Man turned to find...

TIME FREEZE

" _The Frightful Four!" Spider-Man exclaims. "Trapster, Thundra, Klaw, and the Wizard! A team of super-baddies with a grudge against me... just like every other villain being held here. Now I know what Fury meant by 'compromised.'"_

TIME UNFREEZE

"Pah!" the Wizard snorted. "It's the itsy bitsy spider! Shall we do some quick squashing before we make our escape?"

"Gladly," Thundra growled, charging Spider-Man before he even had time to make a quip about the Wizard's unimaginative insult.

Dancing away from Thundra's furious blows, Spider-Man, asked, "So, how long did you last in SHIELD's anger management classes? 'Cause it looks like you dropped out before midterm."

Thundra snarled at him with the ferocity and spittle of a wild beast. "If we had more time here, I'd make you pay dearly for all your pathetic taunts," she said. "But as it is, I shall have to be satisfied with your death."

"Big talk for a big lady," admitted Spider-Man as he flipped away, "but you're one of those dogs that's all bark and no bite."

TIME FREEZE

 _Frozen midair, Spider-Man says to the audience, "Yeah, I know, not my best quip. But I can't just keep waiting for a dog-themed villain to come along so I can use it..."_

TIME UNFREEZE

"I think you'll find yourself mistaken this time," Thundra countered, aiming a blow at the center of his chest. He bent over backwards to avoid it and saw Klaw and the Wizard use their combined efforts to tear down a support column directly above Agent McGregory.

"No! Agent McGregory, move!" Spider-Man yelled, swinging over to the man just in time to catch the debris as it fell. Immediately, he felt Trapster's glue wrap around his ankles, sticking him to the floor.

The Wizard cackled. "What a fitting punishment! Just like the Greek myth about Atlas—" Before he could finish, Thundra and Klaw grabbed him and all four of the villains made their escape.

"Ugh!" Spider-Man grunted, muscles straining against the weight he was holding up. "Agent McGregory! You still there?"

"Yes," the man replied, his voice surprisingly calm for having just been caught in super-villain crossfire.

"Great! A little help here?"

Agent McGregory nodded and started pushing smaller pieces of debris under Spider-Man's burden so that he could put it down without squashing himself. It took the man quite a while to position the bits of wreckage, and Spider-Man could feel his muscles twitch and spasm violently from the immense effort it took to hold the block up. At last, he was able to set it down and collapsed in a panting heap, awkward as it was with his feet still stuck in place.

As he was catching his breath, a familiar tingling wracked his brain. "Spider-sense?" he asked aloud. "But what...?"

The last thing he saw before the world went dark was Agent McGregory's smirking face as he roughly injected Spider-Man with a tranquilizer.

* * *

"He's missing?!" Sam exclaimed. "How'd he go missing?! He's a bright red and blue showoff!"

"Do we even know what happened?" asked Luke.

Fury examined the team minus Spider-Man with his normal poker face. All four teens were sitting around the briefing table with their facial coverings off. Worry plainly creased their brows.

"What happened to Spider-Man? We're not sure," Fury spoke, his voice calm but not slow. His words held no unnecessary pauses and were delivered rapidly. "We do know that the Frightful Four escaped roughly half an hour ago, cut the security cams, manually detached the Astrocarrier, and went through the science lab where Spider-Man and Agent McGregory were.

"By the time we got our agents over there fifteen minutes later, all we found were signs of fighting. The Frightful Four were gone, along with Spider-Man, McGregory, and five escape pods.

"We had a signal on both Spider-Man's and McGregory's communicators up until five minutes ago. The last recorded signals came from near the Hudson, and Doc Ock's underwater lab."

Ava leaned forward in her seat and braced her forearms on the table. "Do you think the Frightful Four were working with Doc Ock?"

"It's possible. We haven't had eyes on Octavius since he last escaped the Tricarrier. Whether he's involved or not, his lab's our best bet, so we're sending you in."

"You got it, Boss," Luke affirmed, snapping his goggles back into place and standing up. The others tugged their masks on and they all dashed out of the room.

* * *

 _ **[Unknown location]...**_

"Uhhhhn..." Peter groaned as his consciousness returned like an overenthusiastic long-lost friend with a killer hug. He opened his bleary eyes and stared at a boring gray ceiling that didn't belong to his room nor to the Tricarrier med bay. "Huh?" he grunted, senses suddenly awake.

Peter dropped his chin to his chest and found himself strapped down to a large metal table.

"Oh, great," he sighed. "I've been kidnapped. Again. Why does this always happen to me and not the rest of my team?!"

"Maybe it's because of your bad luck," a familiar voice commented.

Peter's head jerked up and his eyes widened. "You?!"

"Oh, please," Agent McGregory scoffed as he tapped at a computer across the room, "don't sound so surprised. You've known me for, what, a week? Surely you didn't come to _trust_ me in such a short time."

Peter glared at him with as much anger as he could muster. "I certainly don't trust you _now_. But you know who I do trust? My team! And you know what's gonna happen? I'm gonna bust this table, my team's gonna show up, and we're all gonna kick your butt!"

"You think I'm like one of your super-villains," Agent McGregory scoffed with a shake of his head, finally turning in his chair to look at Peter. "Unlike those ignorant, bumbling fools, I know not to underestimate you or S.H.I.E.L.D. You'll find that your restraints can withstand even your strength and your friends are currently hunting a false lead."

"We'll see about that," Peter snapped. He clenched his fits and strained against the straps that held him to the table. "Hhnnn!" he grunted, soon panting from exertion, but the straps refused to snap. "Arg!" he groaned and let his head thump against the table in frustration.

Agent McGregory smirked at him triumphantly. "You see? Where countless muscled goons and tech-powered freaks have failed, I have succeeded!"

TIME FREEZE

" _He's right-ish," Peter admits. "It sure looks like I'm in a real pickle this time..._

 _~Start Spidey Imagination Sequence~_

" _Help!" Spider-Chibi pleads, banging a fist on the inside of a pickle jar, surrounded by pickles and pickle juice._

 _~Stop Spidey Imagination Sequence~_

" _BUT! While this guy didn't underestimate S.H.I.E.L.D., and he didn't underestimate me, he_ did _underestimate my team! And I trust my team to help me out of this!"_

 _Peter pauses and waits to see if his team will answer the obvious cue. Unfortunately, they don't answer._

" _Okay, now to start stalling..."_

* * *

 _ **Meanwhile, in Doc Ock's Underwater Lab**_

CRASH!

Otto Octavius gasped and whirled around on metal arms as his lab door was busted down.

"Who dares—?!" he began in his nasally voice. Then he saw his visitors. "Ah, I see. Fury's ragtag group of pubescent 'heroes.' I was under the impression that Fury didn't send his attack dogs unless provoked. I have done nothing since my release to warrant this break-in." His words were spoken with the carefully pronounced speed of one trying to hide panic.

"Nice try, Doc Ock," White Tiger spat.

"Yeah," Nova added. "'Done nothing' _mi trasero_! Where's the web-head?!"

"I assume that you're talking about Spider-Man, in which case I do not know nor care about his whereabouts," Otto snapped, moving defensively in front of his computer and research.

"Cut the BS!" Power Man demanded, charging forward and slamming Doc Ock into a wall. "We know you had a deal with the Frightful Four!"

Doc Ock scowled and flung Power Man away with a metal arm. "I assure you, I have not been in contact with those pathetic amateurs, nor do I have Spider-Man in my clutches, as you seem to believe."

"We'll be the judges of that!" Power Man yelled as he charged again.

"Umf," Doc Ock grunted, deflecting Power Man's strikes with two of his arms. Power Man grabbed the tentacles and pulled his mechanic pod away from the wall.

With more room to maneuver at Ock's back, Nova tackled his other two arms. "Ack!" Doc Ock exclaimed.

Iron Fist leaped down from above with a "Hiii-yaaah!" and smashed the joints where two of the mechanical tentacles attached to Otto's back.

"Hah!" White Tiger huffed out, going straight for Ock's face. The pasty scientist freed his two remaining arms from Power Man's and Nova's grasps and retreated a half second too late. White Tiger's claws snagged his goggles and tore them away from his face.

"AAAH!" Otto yelled, clasping his human hands over his face as the light burned his sensitive corneas.* "MY EYES! NOOOO!"

While the scientist was in pain, Iron Fist lunged forward and finished the fight by jabbing Doc Ock in the neck with his index and middle fingers, knocking him out ninja-style.

"Heh, where's the easy button?" Nova asked laughingly as the scientist keeled over on the floor.

White Tiger shot him a look. "We don't have time for that. Nova, can your helmet scan for other life signs nearby? That way, if Spidey's here, we can know without having to look under everything for him."

Nova frowned slightly, displaying a rare expression of thoughtfulness. "Huh, I've never tried that before, but..." he paused and scanned the room. "Nope, I'm only picking up you guys and Ock. Nearest humanoid life signs this thing can pick up are on land."**

"So he's not here," sighed White Tiger. "Of course."

"Uh, guys?" Power Man called. He was looking at Otto's computer and the files still open on it. "I'm no science genius, but even I can tell Ock was working on some pretty messed up stuff."

White Tiger dashed over to him and glanced over the data on the screen. After a moment, she realized what she was looking at and gasped.

"What is it?" asked Nova, hovering (literally) over her shoulder.

"These designs..." began White Tiger, lowering her hands to the keyboard and shuffling the files. "It looks like Doc Ock was trying to create an army of spider-soldiers with the Venom symbiote and Oscorp technology!"

"A convergence of differing natures," Iron Fist noted evenly. "Like lightening, the meeting point of the sky and earth."

"Oooo-kay," Nova said.

White Tiger opened a new file and frowned. "Wait a minute... these designs are Norman Osborn's! That means he was the one behind Ock's spider-soldier attempts all along!"

"Norman Osborn?" Power Man repeated. "As in, Peter's best friend's dad who used to be an evil goblin but who might have been evil the whole time?"

"Whoa, this ain't good," commented Nova, nervously flexing his hands. "Spidey's gonna flip out when he hears."

"Speaking of Spidey," White Tiger said and turned back to the others, "what happened to him? If Doc Ock didn't grab him..."

"...Then he's still with the Frightful Four?" guessed Power Man.

White Tiger thought about it for a moment and then shook her head. "No. Agent McGregory's missing too, remember? The Frightful Four wouldn't have taken him, too. And besides, they were escaping; nabbing Spider-Man would probably have taken too much time and gotten them caught."

Nova threw his arms up in frustrated exasperation. "So what happened, then?!"

Iron Fist, having been mostly quiet the whole time, piped in, "Deception often comes from one who is trusted."

Nova waved his arms around some more to convey his heightened frustration. "What on earth does that _mean?!"_

"It means that Agent McGregory might've been the one that nabbed Spidey," Power Man translated. "Duh."

"Okay, how'd you get that out of..." White Tiger paused, " _that_?"

"It's easy. We thought the Frightful Four had a deal with Doc Ock, but they didn't, so we were deceived. Someone we trust would be someone in S.H.I.E.L.D., and the only person in S.H.I.E.L.D. who could've done anything to Spidey at the time was McGregory," Luke said. "So McGregory did it."

"I didn't wanna know how the fortune cookie thinks, thanks a lot," Nova grumbled.

White Tiger ignored his annoyed mumblings. "That makes sense!" she exclaimed. "Agent McGregory was part of S.H.I.E.L.D., so he knows we'd look for Spidey using his communicator! So he purposefully sent their communicators here so we'd think that Doc Ock was involved!"

"That's great. Now, how do we find this guy so I can punch him in the face?" asked Nova.

White Tiger sighed and put her hands on her hips. "We know next to nothing about Agent McGregory, so we need to go back to the Tricarrier and tell Fury what we've found out about him and Doc Ock and Norman Osborn. Then we search the places that Agent McGregory is most likely to hide out in."

"That'll take too long!" Power Man objected. "We need to start lookin' _now_! Spidey's in trouble!"

"Yeah, let's just search every warehouse in New York, we'll find them eventually," Nova agreed. "Super-villains love warehouses."

"But Agent McGregory _isn't a super-villain_!" White Tiger said forcefully, looking ready to tear out her hair in frustration. "He's a scientist, and even worse, he's a _S.H.I.E.L.D._ scientist! He probably knows our secret identities! He must know that we'll try to treat him like a super-villain, because that's what we know how to deal with! So we need to report to Fury and figure out how to deal with this guy!"

"But there isn't enough time!" Power Man argued again.

Iron Fist spoke up once more. "If one of us had been kidnapped and Spider-Man were here instead, he would go after our missing member immediately."

"See?!" Nova exclaimed to White Tiger. "The majority wins, motion carried, let's go!"

"But," Iron Fist cut in, voice still calm and breathy, "he would not neglect his responsibilities. He would send one of us to report to Fury.

"Nova," he continued, "you have the fastest means of transportation—go the Tricarrier and tell Fury about what we have found. Tell him to send a team to collect Doc Ock and his research. The rest of us will begin searching now. Fury will contact us and tell us where we should go, and then you will join us there."

Nova gaped at him for three seconds, then closed his mouth and pouted. "Fine," he said resignedly and blasted out of the room.

Iron Fist turned to White Tiger and Power Man, who were both staring at him in open-mouthed shock. "Come," Iron Fist said, walking towards the door and activating the unfolding swim suit on his back. "We must begin searching."

The last two teammates glanced at each other, shrugged, and followed the pacifist.

* * *

 _ **Back where we left off in Agent McGregory's secret lab, [unknown location]...**_

"So, why exactly did you kidnap me?" Peter asked conversationally. "I mean, all the other times I was kidnapped it was either because someone wanted my spider powers or they wanted revenge. Is this a karma thing? Like, I wronged you in some past life? Is that what this is?"

Agent McGregory scoffed. "I can see what you're doing, you know; you want to get me to reveal my evil plan."

"Is it working?"

"Well, I suppose there's no harm in letting you know..." Agent McGregory mused. "No, I am not seeking revenge. You, I couldn't care less about. I do want something from you, but it's not your spider DNA. I want..."

There was a very dramatic pause. Peter held his breath because it felt appropriate.

"...your bad luck."

There was a long pause filled with shocked disbelief. Then: "Sorry, what?"

Agent McGregory whirled around with a gleam in his eyes. Peter recognized that gleam. He'd seen it in Doc Ock, he'd seen it in the Green Goblin, he'd seen it in Dr. Conners when he saw Doc Ock's animal formulas.

It was a gleam of desperation and genius.

"In this day and age, there are so many things that humans control," Agent McGregory began. "We've dammed rivers our ancestors thought could never be tamed. We've reached the moon and stars, once an impossible goal. We've harnessed electricity and we can bring people back from the brink of death!

"But one thing that we don't have control over... that we'll never have control over... is luck. Pure, dumb chance.

"Well, that's going to change with me. With _you_. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we had control over luck?"

TIME FREEZE

" _Okay, I think I know what's going on, now," Peter comments. "How about you? I think it's time for a flashback. Rewind!"_

 _~Start Spidey Flashback~_

" _We recruited him four months ago and he only joined us once we paid off his gambling debts."_

 _~Stop Spidey Flashback~_

TIME UNFREEZE

"All the casinos would get cleaned out," Peter summed up with a mocking grin.

Agent McGregory chuckles. "Yes, well, that's certainly an option, but think _bigger_. An international incident that can't be blamed on anybody because it's just a _coincidence_ , a _freak accident_. Imagine if you could sell accidents to people."

The mocking smile was gone from Peter's face. An angry scowl furrowed his brows and pulled back his lips.

"I thought you were a _joke_ ," he spat, fists clenching. "When you said you wanted my bad luck, I thought you were a stupid, delusional _clown_. But you're just as sick and twisted as every other super-villain I've fought!"

McGregory shrugged unconcernedly. "You're the one who wanted to know my evil plan and why I kidnapped you," he reminded Peter. "To be honest, I didn't have this in mind when I joined SHIELD. In fact, I only came up with this when I met _you_. You are my ultimate inspiration."

 _Ultimate_. It sounded praising from Fury's mouth, respecting from his teammates' mouths. From this man, it sounded slimy and disgusting. Suddenly, Peter had seconds thoughts about wanting to become the Ultimate Spider-Man.

"Of course," the older man went on, "it all started with the video game. Well, no, it didn't. The original purpose of that game was to allow me to gauge how people react to frustration, what motivates them to achieve obscure goals, how they respond to completely random circumstances and objectives.

"But you... when _you_ played the game, _everything went wrong_. It shouldn't have been possible. I didn't think it _was_ possible, at first—I checked the game, looked for tampering, anything that would make the system biased. I found nothing. I had other people on the Tricarrier play it, and the frequency of unlucky happenstances for them was much, much lower. Which means _you_ caused something. Your bad luck."

Peter swallowed back the taste of bile that was rising in his throat. "You can't know that," he said. "The game could still have been random, just throwing a lot of bad stuff at me. But still randomly. It could have just been in the game."

Agent McGregory nodded. "I considered that," he acknowledged, "so I watched you outside of my game."

He turned back to his large computer and pulled up several security footage clips of fights Spider-Man had been in that week.

"Stalker!" Peter yelled, but anyone who knew him well would be able to tell that it was forced. Good thing this man didn't know him well.

"See?" Agent McGregory said, gesturing to the screens. "Your bad luck persists beyond my simulations."

Unfortunately, Peter _could_ see. In one clip, Spider-Man fell through a roof that had held Batroc's considerably heavier weight only moments before. In another, a car stalled in a busy intersection, and Spider-Man had to prevent the consequential car crash, which allowed the rocket-rollerskate-propelled purse snatcher to get away. Little things, confusing things, distracting things, inconvenient things.

Bad luck.

Agent McGregory continued talking. "Although it may be hard to believe, I didn't orchestrate the Frightful Four's escape. How _unlucky_ it was for you that it happened when you came back to the Tricarrier, that you had to come back at _all_ , that you ended up in such a vulnerable position.

"And, well. I'm an opportunist. How could I possibly pass up that chance?"

The man turned back to his computer, than added as an afterthought, "Oh, and speaking of chances, I took a blood sample from you while you were still unconscious. I _do_ hope you don't mind."

Peter's eyes narrowed to furious slits and his body trembled with rage. This man was trying to use him to create a weapon. Doctor Octopus and the Goblin had both kidnapped him for the same purpose before, but...

Venom was something Peter could fight. Not easily, sure, but it was corporeal and it confronted him head on.

But if a weapon that caused 'accidents' got out into the world... Peter couldn't fight that. He wouldn't be able to tell what was caused by the weapon and what was really just an accident. He wouldn't be able to track where it went the way he could follow Venom's path of deliberate destruction.

Peter liked simple solutions. (Sometimes simple solutions involved complicated solutions, like the anti-venom, but the concept of it fixing Harry was simple.) A simple solution in this circumstance was to not allow the bad luck weapon to be made in the first place.

"THAT'S IT!" he screamed and pulled against his restraints with renewed vigor. He'd already tried to tear the straps and failed, but he didn't care. With a sudden surge of colossal strength, he broke the straps around his wrists, then his chest, then his ankles.

Agent McGregory whirled to his feet and gaped. "What—? How—? But, you couldn't break those earlier when you tried! How could you do it now?!"

"Ever heard of the Hulk?" Spider-Man asked rhetorically as he dashed forward and punched the two-faced S.H.I.E.L.D. agent in the gut.

"He's big and he's green and he's angry and he's strong." This was followed by an uppercut to the jaw.

"And the angrier he gets, the stronger he gets!" A kick to the ribcage sent McGregory flying across the room. "I think some of that might've rubbed off on my from the, like, three times I've met him."

There was no reply from the unconscious body slumped against the wall.

Spider-Man scratched the back of his masked head. "Huh. Where's the easy button when you need it? I guess I'll just web him up and then go tell Fury what happened..."

He pointed his hands out toward McGregory and pressed his middle and ring fingers to his palms. Nothing happened.

"Hey, he stole my web-shooters!" Spider-Man exclaimed aloud. "What a douchebag! Now, where'd he put 'em..."

Spider-Man stepped up to McGregory's desk, fully intending to search it for his missing web-shooters, and then paused. He eyed the data on the computer screen warily.

"...I don't _actually_ have, like, a genetic mutation that gives me super bad luck, right?" he wondered aloud. "It's impossible. But... if I _do_... I don't know if I'm comfortable with S.H.I.E.L.D. knowing. What if there are other people there like McGregory? People who would use that information for nefarious purposes?

"Maybe I should take a look at what he's found. Just to see if he _did_ find anything in my blood, and then I can decide what to do. It won't hurt, right?"

TIME FREEZE

 _Suddenly, but also rather predictably, Spider-Angel and Spider-Devil appear on Spidey's shoulders._

" _You should just give the data to S.H.I.E.L.D.!" Spider-Angel declares. "If you_ do _have a genetic mutation of some sort, they can help you with it! And Fury wouldn't hire anyone who would try to build a bad luck weapon with it!"_

" _He hired McGregory, the slimeball," Spider-Devil points out. "And he's been less than honest before. And you," he says to Spider-Man, "just take a look at the data! What about all that grown-up blabbing they tell you when you go through puberty? 'Know your body, be comfortable with your body,' all that stuff. You have a right to know, and S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't! And if you decide not to tell them, well, it's not like it's going to affect anything, right?"_

 _Spider-Man thinks about that for a moment and then nods firmly. "You're right," he says to Spider-Devil. "It's_ my _body and I don't have to ask permission to learn more about it. And that goes for my spider powers, too! The Oscorp spider that bit me doesn't make me belong to Norman Osborn. They're_ my _powers! And if someone else were to get bitten by an irradiated Oscorp spider, too, their powers wouldn't belong to me just because I had them first! Everyone's their own person."_

" _But going to S.H.I.E.L.D. first is still the responsible—" Spider-Angel began._

" _Aw, shaddup," Spider-Devil scoffed and webbed Spider-Angel in the face._

TIME UNFREEZE

Spider-Man sat down cross-legged in the spinning desk chair and scrolled through the open file. He scanned its meager contents quickly and remarked, "At least McGregory didn't get very far. It looks like he was still figuring out what my bad luck is."

He poked around on the computer a bit more and found an open PDF of a research paper on the mutant X-gene by Charles Xavier. "I bet he was comparing my blood with this dude's article."

Peter read the paper quickly and thoroughly, and soon found himself completely fascinated with the complex genetic research. "This is amazing!" he breathed to himself.

He pored over the scientific explanations and diagrams until he thought he had a good grasp on the material. Then he opened his blood test results and examined the computer generated model of his DNA.

"Hm... wow, this is tough. The spider DNA really mixed with my normal DNA, so it's hard to tell what's what. In fact, that's probably why S.H.I.E.L.D. never found an X-gene—if I have it, that is—especially if they weren't looking for it. But if you _are_ looking for it, that's another story.

"Okay, so, the X-gene is on the 23rd chromosome.*** That would put it... here," he pointed at the chromosome on the model, and then zoomed in. He squinted, went back to Xavier's paper, reread a section, looked at the diagrams again, and then looked at his DNA model again.

Finally, he put his head in his hands and let out a low, shaky breath. "Fish sticks," he whispered.

There, sitting deceptively innocently in Peter's DNA, was the X-gene, its presence glaringly obvious to his newly trained eye.

"Ignorance is bliss," Peter sighed.

Abruptly, a nearby door crashed open and Peter jumped. His heart picked up speed as he realized that it was probably his team coming to get him.

A primal urge to _hide hide hide don't let them know_ took over.

"No," he muttered to himself, "no, no, they can't find out, I can't let them find out..." He grabbed the computer, popped its back open, pulled out the memory card, and forced the plate back into place minus its screws, all in record time.

Then he slumped into the chair and waited, feeling empty and cold.

* * *

 _ **A few minutes ago, directly outside Agent McGregory's secret lab, Long Island, New York...**_

"I dunno, guys," Nova said as the team minus Spider-Man stared at the unassuming house in front of them, its lights dark. "If this McSomething dude is so smart, then why would he use his house for his evil plans if it's on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files? He's more likely to be in a warehouse, I tell you."

"Agent McGregory threw us off with the lead to Doc Ock," White Tiger reminded him. "He probably didn't think we'd suspect him. And anyway, this was Fury's best guess."

"Also, we searched, like, every warehouse in Manhattan already," Power Man grumbled.

Iron Fist had apparently filled his word quota for the day, because he didn't say anything. Instead, he strode up to plain, white, ordinary door and kicked it down with a BANG!

White Tiger, Power Man, and Nova shared a glance before quickly following their green-clad teammate inside.

"Okay," White Tiger said quietly, "Nova, you search the second floor; Iron Fist and Power Man, you'll both take the ground floor since it probably has the most rooms; and I'll search the basement. Got it?"

The boys nodded and went their designated ways. White Tiger opened the door leading to the basement and light immediately filled the hallway.

"GUYS!" she yelled and cleared the basement stairs in a single leap. "I FOUND THEM!"

"Oh, hey, Ava," Peter greeted her dully. He was slumped in a spinning desk chair in front of a dark computer. Agent McGregory was slumped unconscious against the wall. On the other side of the room, there was a metal table with broken restraints. "I thought it was you guys. Who broke down the door? Luke?"

"Danny, actually," Luke said as the other three boys filed swiftly into the basement. "Sweet Christmas, man, what happened?!"

Peter flapped his hand at them. Normally, it would be a flippant gesture, but now it lacked energy and looked lifeless. "Oh, you know. I got kidnapped by a mad scientist, mad scientist revealed his evil plan, I escaped his vile clutch and beat him up. Same old shtick."

The four other heroes shared confused glances. "Um... Spidey? You okay?" White Tiger asked hesitantly.

"I'm fine!" Peter replied with obviously forced cheer. "Let's go now, 'kay? We'll grab that dude, hand him off to Fury, and turn in for the night, kapeesh? Let's go."

More concerned glances were shared.

"Dude, you're not looking so hot," Sam noted after a tense moment. "What's wrong?"

The eyes of Peter's Spider-Man mask finally turned up with the hint of a true smile. "Aw, Nova, were you _worried_ about me? That's so sweet!"

Sam spluttered and crossed his arms defensively. "No, of course not."

"But seriously," Luke said in his no-nonsense voice. "Tell us what's bothering you."

Peter sighed. "I... i'ts just... that guy, McGregory, he..."

Danny stepped forward and put a comforting hand on Peter's shoulder. "It is natural to feel confused and hurt when one is betrayed," he said softly.

Peter shook his head. "No, that's not it. I mean, maybe it is, a little bit, but... it was just so _stupid_!"

The four other teenagers blinked in confusion as Peter continued, "He kidnapped because I have bad luck! It sounds like a joke, right? And he wanted to _weaponize_ it. My bad luck, I mean. Like, how does that even _work_? And it was just, _why_?

"But then this guy starts talking about it, and I thought he was a joke, but he was sick! He—he was just a—another sick _nutso_ who wanted to cause world chaos! He wanted to cause international incidents that looked like accidents so no one would know what really happened! And I..."

They waited patiently.

"...I just can't talk about this right now," Peter finished. "Can we just go home?"

"Yeah," Ava said. "You go. We'll take McGregory to S.H.I.E.L.D. and explain what happened to Fury, you just go home and rest. It's been a long day."

* * *

That night, Peter started freaking out.

"Oh my god, oh my god," he murmured frantically into his pillow. "I'm a mutant. Oh my god, oh my god..."

And suddenly, Peter could remember _so many_ instances when he'd said something and then things _happened_. Like when he'd said, _"It's almost too perfect. I'm kinda waiting for the lights to go red and the alarms to ring,"_ and then the lights had gone read and the alarms had rung.****

 _Was that my fault? It must have been. I'm a mutant and I make bad things happen. Oh my god, oh my god..._

 _What else was my fault? When will it happen again? What if I hurt someone? What if I hurt my_ team _?_

"I'm bad luck," he whispered.

The words tasted bitter and disgusting like over-processed grapefruit juice.

* * *

 ***I'm borrowing a comic!verse cannon and having Doctor Octopus's eyes be super sensitive, which is why he needs the goggles.**

 ****Nova's helmet being able to scan for life signs is a headcannon of mine. I'm not sure if it can actually do that.**

 *****I got this information from "Mutant Biology" on the Marvel Comics Database.**

 ******This happened in season 2, episode 10: "The Man-Wolf."**

* * *

 **OH MY GODS PETER'S A MUTANT WITH BAD LUCK POWERS! That wasn't part of my original plan! It was just supposed to be a silly one shot and Peter was supposed to be like, "Dude, you're crazy, I don't believe you," and knock him out and that was supposed to be the end of it. But then this story ran away from me and things happened.**

 **I've seen stories where Peter is a mutant before, but usually his "spider-sense" is actually a pre-cognitive mutant power, so I don't think this idea has ever been done before.** **I tried to keep everyone in character and make their reactions and trains of thought seem realistic.**

 **My sister pointed out that Peter never seemed to doubt that McGregory could use him to build a bad luck weapon. At first, Peter was entertaining the idea because he thought it was just one huge joke, but as he was shown more evidence that his bad luck could be something other than coincidence, he started freaking out a bit and McGregory's explanation was the first hypothesis he heard, so he started trying to prove or disprove it.**

 **Please review and tell me what you think!**


End file.
